What do you do? As someone who has tried to always be kind and show love towards others, it’s very hard on me when someone stays angry with me or dislikes me. It’s something that can really affect self-confidence, assurance and self-image. One of the biggest reasons people have so many emotional problems these days is, I believe, a poor self-image and a lack of love for others.
For so long I let what others thought of me affect my own happiness. At one point, I was hurt so badly by someone, that I separated myself from the world and became very introverted. If you all have seen any of my recent videos, you know that this is definitely NOT who I am. But the Lord has a funny way of pulling us out of our hiding spots, and sometimes we don’t even realize that He is doing it.
I decided not long ago, that I could hide in forums but still connect with people. And that led to the decision to start a blog, and hide from the world behind it. God has such a sense of humor. I never imagined my blog would get this big, or that I would make so many real connections with real people.
In the process of my hiding, though, God made me face rejection and people not liking me. Most of you probably don’t realize this, but bloggers get a lot of criticism and sometimes very hurtful comments from people. In the beginning, sometimes a random comment would bring me to tears because I had still not dealt with my fear of rejection. There were situations where I would be upset for days, and I would have to turn to God for comfort and strengthening. Which is what He wants right? When we hide from others and the world, who are we really hiding from?
So I started drawing back to God, and began facing these situations. Granted, most of the time these comments or emails would just be deleted with no response given. I’ve found that to be the best way to handle someone that wants to be mean. But mentally and emotionally I faced it, dealt with it and moved forward. You know what I found out? That each time I did this, it became easier. Instead of being an emotional wreck for 2-3 days, I got it down to one day. Then I noticed I wasn’t becoming that emotional wreck anymore. I was still getting upset, but it was only lasting a few hours. While I’m still not where I need to be, I plan on continuing to draw close to God so that He can help me be at the place I need to be.
So when people say hurtful things, hate you or abuse you what do you do? Besides contacting the authorities if you are being physically abused…
You turn to God, face your fears and slowly begin to change for the better. Don’t hide. I did, and it was miserable. But even if you refuse to stop hiding, God will eventually pull you out. Why not make it sooner, rather than later?
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{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for speaking from your heart Crystal. Have a blessed Thanksgiving Season.
You don’t know how much I needed that today! Thanks for all you do. I’ve saved so much money by following your site.
I think you are doing a GREAT job, I don,t have a blog, would love one but really don,t know where to begin. I have found in life that you can’t make everyone happy, even if you are the nicest or kindest person…there is an evil thing out there called jealousy…some strive on it…it,s the root of all evil…just keep being you and you will find the good outweighs the bad….Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for sharing all that you do with us…!!!
Extremely insightful and a welcome reminder that God is always working in our behalf. Thanks for taking the time and sharing your experience and wisdom.
thanks for sharing. it’s amazing how long it takes me somtimes to let God work in my life…i always wonder why i allowed myself to be miserable for so long. life it too short~
God bless~
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Hey Crystal,
This is a beautifully written post that I needed to hear today. Thanks so much for the great message you’re sending out this morning:)
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I struggle with this one too. What I try to do is pray God’s blessings over them. They are God’s creation and I need to have the mind of Christ so I pray, pray, pray. Maybe they are critical and grumpy because they don’t have Christ dwelling in their hearts or they are hurting. (It’s hard to think this way when WE are hurting, I know) When I pray for them it changes me, my heart. So regardless of whether I “confront” it or not in the physical realm, I feel like I am fighting in the spiritual. Not everyone is going to like me or what I say or do, but I can still have the heart of Christ to love them — to try to have the eyes of God and see them as a spiritual creature. Sounds great, right??? Not so easy for me to do, but it’s something to set my sight on.
I just wanted to let you know that I am a new SAHM of three toddlers who I am homeschooling for pre-k. It has been a HUGE connection and your blog is my daily “treat” to connect to the world. I really enjoy it and wanted to say “thank you.”
maureenruble@yahoo.com
Thank you so much for this post. I have to admit I too have felt exactly what you have. But I let it stop me from being more successful as a blogger for fear that I would never be able to handle the critisism. Your message has given me hope and courage. I hope the best for you! Thanks so much for sharing!.
TTM, I think what you wrote was beautiful, insightful and true…WE as your readers are truly blessed to be led along our frugal journey with such insightful and thoughtful words. I always say the Lord led me to TTM at just the right time in my life….I have met so many wonderful people thru your blog and the forums that I am grateful for everyday!! THANKS FOR DOING WHAT YOU DO!!!
Thanks Crystal
I think its great for you to post things about processing life as well as saving $, we all need both! One of my favorite verses on this topic is 1Peter 2:21-23. I copied it at the bottom. For me, it is so easy to crumble emotionally, and even if i dont say it out loud – to think all the things I should have said back or ways I could have defended myself. But, recently, I’ve been learning how even the thoughts of how I could have retaliated are just as damaging to my spirit as if i had really said them. I love the last line – Jesus left the judging (and retaliating) to the One who judges righteously. wow. so good.
(21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 22 “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” 23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly).
I really needed to hear that..and to be reminded that I will never make everyone happy, and that I will never be able to please everyone and I will never be to the point where everyone likes me. It doesn’t mean I’m bad or inferior…….It’s just how it is. I have to learn to love myself in spite of all this…..and thanks for reminding me!
Love your blog!
I love your blog! Thanks for blogging and sharing great advice and great deals.
I just wanted to let you know that I have been through similar situations in the past and am currently going through something similar. It definitely hurts when someone says mean things to you and it definitely breaks down one’s self image. Thank you for the insight.
Crystal,
I think that you have been very gracious and kind in your responses to the unkind things that people have posted on your blog. I’ve often wondered how you dealt with those comments. It’s interesting to think of the license we think we have when we’re on the internet. For some reason the anonymity that it gives us also allows us to be our real, and sometimes mean, selves. It’s unfortunate. In the end, it’s not what people think of us or say about us- on the internet, or in person- but what God thinks of us. Man looks on the outside but God looks on the heart- and only He knows our hearts.
The Lord hears and answers prayers! Those he answers about our children are especially sweet. Thanks for sharing. All the encouraging and thankful responses have made my eyes a little wet and my heart warm. God is so good!
Dear Crystal,
It is very refreshing to see that you have decided to share Tuesday testimonies again. I find it extremely encouraging to meet with like minded Christians and see that we all struggle with the same things. I recently went through a situation where I found myself in sin and needed to make public ammends to all who were affected. It was quite shocking to see, that many people want forgiveness, but few want to give it. I think it is important to remember that not everyone is in the same area of growth that you are. It’s best to turn the other cheek, after all that is what our Lord and Savior would do right? Grace and Mercy is what it’s all about. I don’t encourage abuse on any level and if someone is in that situation, then by all means they need to take the proper steps to get themselves to safety. But how will the other person ever get to that area of growth if they are’nt shown Grace and Mercy. That is what our Savior did for us when He died on the cross. He died for us while we were yet sinners.
You are right on with the comment of “hurtful things damaging your assurance and confidence and self image”. But if we as Christians being armed with the whole armour of God do not make an effort to put the best foot forward, then all we are doing is contributing to the vicious cycle.
I have found the best way for me to deal with these situations is to become more aware of who I am in Christ Jesus. What my identity is in Him. What His Word says about me. Then no weapon formed against me will prosper. And let’s face it, hurtful words are weapons.
Please, do continue to do the Tuesday Testimonies. If nothing else, just to get the ball rolling for some excellent conversation about the Lord. “Iron sharpeneth iron” . Blessings to you, GA Peach
You are such a blessing to so many. Some people may not have the same love of others that you have and they will try to bring you down to their level. You sound like you have a very solid foundation now and God uses those tough times to show us his mercy and to teach us lessons on where to put our trust—He is our most trustworthy friend. Stay strong and know that it is usually the meanest people who are the loudest and though they may talk loud, they are in a tiny minority. Everyone else loves you and your big heart and would love nothing more than to hug you right now.
I am sure I speak from the majority—and we appreciate what you do.
You are a beautiful spirit and I send you much love! Thanks for opening up your heart and life!!
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What a wonderful post. You provide a wonderful service to others, and you spread positivity. Your blog provides practical information that I use every day. You inform me, inspire me, and motivate me…. thank you!!
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I just skimmed these but I’ll leave a comment that I say to myself and others. Many people do not want to be happy (It is a choice). Sometimes it is for an hour, sometimes a day and sometimes years. We all share the same emotions how we react is the wonderful quirk that makes you, YOU! Remind others and yourself that you are not responsible for their feelings. Be the best you can, forgive and forget (the later part being the most important).
Let it go and if someone keeps putting poop on your doorstep, let them go.
Well said, Crystal! I can relate to all you wrote. I’ve recently realized that mean-spirited people just do not know how to love–themselves or others–and they say and do hurtful things in a subconscious attempt to make others feel as bad as they do. Although their words and actions can truly be hurtful, it helps to say a prayer for them (puts things back into perspective). Thanks for all your hard work !
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CRYSTAL: I believe that through your sharing of this extraordinary experience, you are thereby creating an avenue for further healing of your heart. We MUST always find ways to stay spiritually strong; especially in these unbelievably bizarre days we are in.
AMY: Thanks for the uplifting words; they have touched me as well.
I feel this same way about some of my transactions on Ebay. At first, I would become so upset by how mean some people were about the transaction even if it wasn’t my fault or I did whatever they wanted. I still have to work on letting it go and not letting it upset me. Your blog is a great reminder of how important the Lord is in helping us do that. I usually don’t comment in blogs but yours is really great and I check it everyday. Thank you for being a blessing in my life.
TTM …..In this week of Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I found your site.
I just try to let it go in one ear and out the other. You can not make everyone happy. If someone doesn’t like me, yes it bothers me, and I wonder why or what I could do to fix it, but I don’t stress myself out over it. I do what I have to do to make myself happy, reguardless to how others view me. (((hugs)))
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Thanks for the great note. I cannot imagine anyone sending hurtful emails to you, especially when you offer so much… but I guess there are those people in the world. I think that is great that you let all know how God is working in your life. It put a smile on my face.
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! My Tuesday Testimonies are back!! …Ok, I know they are for everyone, but they have always just somehow spoken right to my heart and were always JUST what I needed to hear. I have missed them so much!! God is so good.
It took me forever to realize that praying for my enemies really DOES work…and killing people with kindness really does solve just about anything… but even at that ~ those things can be exhausting. Really…all you can do is live your best life, and MOVE FORWARD. let it go.
Crystal ~ thank you…you made my day!!! Hugs, KL
(Meet the Robinsons ~ that movie has the best message ever)
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This post jumped at me and I would like to say thank you!! You don’t know how much a simple post as this can help someone else out (me). Have a bless Thanksgiving!!
Thank you for all that you do for all of us. You hold your head up high and know that you are a good person. Pray and don’t let them bring you down.
Happy Thanksgiving
Great post, Crystal! You rock, girl!
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This is such an encouragement to read. Sometimes I struggle in the same way, but you are so right that when we know who we are in Christ and when we rest in His acceptance, it doesn’ t matter what others think!
Hi Crystal,
I have struggled with (and still do sometimes) the same issue. I want people to like me!! And it’s hard when they don’t!! Recently I read an article by our old pastor that have given me some perspective…..search Bishop Matt Thomas blog,and check out his post on “Popularity and Respect”. (It’s a few posts down). It’s awesome that the Lord is growing you in this area! Bless you!! love, Aunt Nancy
thanks for you blog and all that you do… I look forward to reading all your posts. Happy thanksgiving!!
Beautiful to read Crystal AKA TTM. Thank you for the inspiration and the great savings!!
BLESS!!
Di